Monday, January 02, 2006
El Gran Masturbador
Breve cena a ser apresentada aos pais e professores no fim de ano da escola primária e/ou
Encontro alfabético, simbólico ou magnético e/ou
Retenção verborrágica (ou não) e/ou
Saúvas e reticências vermelhas e/ou
“El Gran Masturbador” de Salvador Dalí
Personagens:
- MENINA CURIOSA
- MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR
CENA ÚNICA E PONTUAL
(A ação se passa dentro de uma escola, uma qualquer escola... porém, bem específica. Se passa num tempo como o de De Chirico. O céu, magrittiano, de um azul-absurdo com algumas nuvens e, entre elas, um pedregulho ou outro. Girafas pegando fogo correm ao longe. O relógio que acaba de cuspir seus números derrete indicando a tão esperada hora do recreio. A menina, de vestido branco branco branco, chega ao grande pátio e avista um pequeno gafanhoto saltando e o acompanha. Este, por sua vez segue uma trilha de pequeninas formigas. Aproveitando o relógio derretido, a menina continua passo a passo... e o gafanhoto, salto a salto... Tal trilha termina na palma da mão esquerda de um menino que se escondia num canto improvável, num ângulo impossível, numa tangente daquela escola de chão branco e gelado. A menina, curiosa, ainda escondendo parte do corpo atrás de uma parede esgueira-se tentando olhar ainda mais de perto. Percebe então mais estranhas formigas na outra mão do menino, que aos poucos caem no solo... Estas, porém, são formigas brancas como os dentes do sorriso que o menino traz nos lábios.)
MENINA CURIOSA (ainda contida):
-E você, o que faz?
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (reticente):
-Me masturbo pensando em duas meninas juntas... só de vestidinho branco, cada uma com uma muleta, numa sala cheia de televisores fora do ar... os ruídos se misturam com gemidos... o chão branco branco branco com bolinhas pretas: milhares de reticências... ou formigas... espelhos no teto refletindo mais milhares delas!!!
MENINA CURIOSA:
-Você tem tara por reticências, é? (ri)
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (travesso):
-Sim, sim... Não me fale em reticências, ou eu gozo! (também ri)
MENINA CURIOSA:
-“Etc” pra você reter...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR:
-Ponto e vírgula (;) também é bom pra isso...
MENINA CURIOSA:
-De exclamação, não.
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR:
-Não, não...
MENINA CURIOSA:
-Interrogação é perigoso...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR:
-Isso é o que eu ia dizer... dependendo do contexto pode ser broxante!
MENINA CURIOSA:
-...ou pode deixar escapar...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR:
-É mesmo...
MENINA CURIOSA:
- E...você tem tara por pessoas com catapora? (ri)
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (ignorando o parêntese feito pela menina... quase esquecido e continuando o raciocínio com sua lógica própria):
-...e quando você começar a sentir “trema” (¨), este é o momento último de reter... e a cada instante, cada sensação deve estar entre aspas (“”)...
MENINA CURIOSA (já escrevendo a quatro mãos):
-Craseemos as sensações e prolonguemos as consoantes!
...alguns hiatos serão necessários...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR:
- Com o asterisco (*) deve-se ter cuidado: para que não seja desagradável!
...e para que continuemos no gerúndio...
MENINA CURIOSA (prática):
-... e no presente, pretérito, presente, pretérito, presente...até chegar ao pretérito-mais-que-perfeito! Nada que um colchete não resolva...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (acentuando os gestos):
-...e o ideal é que evitemos os parênteses... se forem estritamente necessários, que sejam breves... além disso, também é interessante alternar os acentos: um circunflexo (^) entre alguns tils (~)...
MENINA CURIOSA:
-Hmmm...não gosto de til...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (constante):
-...e que cada frase, cada oração, cada parágrafo, verso ou estrofe se tornem cada vez mais longos com, talvez, pequenas vírgulas entre alguns deles, e que não termine num ponto final... mas em reticências com um quê de sinal de maior (>)... (lembra-se de saúvas vermelhas)
MENINA CURIOSA (calculista):
-... reticências em “está contido”...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (não se contendo, mas sim contando; algo de paranóico nas sobrancelhas):
-... alternar também entre “contém” e “está contido” para que a matriz de sensações aumente em progressão geométrica...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (no silêncio de um esquadro, num compasso elíptico):
-... ... ...
MENINA CURIOSA (agora também não se contendo, sentindo as formigas subirem por suas coxas... algumas salpicam também de preto seu vestido branco branco branco... que então se desfaz e se transforma em mais formigas brancas brancas brancas):
-Ui, ui, quantas reticências!!! Ah! Aah! Ah, acho que vou ter um encontro consonantal múltiplo!!!
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR:
-Te disse ontem que você me aguça vontades...
... principalmente essas, alfabéticas...
MENINA CURIOSA (concretista e excitada):
-Ai, que catacrese você faz!
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (Indicativo, ainda contido):
-Não agüento essas suas onomatopéias!!!!! Que delícia construir metonímias contigo!!!
MENINA CURIOSA (neo-concretista e mais excitada):
-Ai, SIM! Metonímias!!!
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (Abundante, quase excessivo):
-Proso... proso... proso... popééééééiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!
(-Sim, excessivo, convenhamos!)
(as formigas brancas inundam o solo e seus pés até os tornozelos nus... ruídos de televisores fora do ar)
... ... ...
MENINA CURIOSA (não mais fria e muito menos calculista... porém, matemática):
-Gozamos juntos.
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (conjugando um verbo avesso):
-... ... ...
(mais alguns números caem pingando do relógio junto às formigas claras que vão tornando-se pretas como as outras da mão esquerda e do vestido branco branco branco e reticente)
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (com um olhar cíclico e metafórico):
-... um ponto e vírgula (;) também pode significar uma pausa um pouco maior para iniciarmos mais um capítulo...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR:
-...e nessa pausa, uma mesóclise: "Comer-te-ia de novo, na próxima página..."
MENINA CURIOSA (virgulácea):
-Me dê apenas uma estrofe pra me recompor...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (pontual):
-No máximo um verso alexandrino, que já é bem longo...
(após dois decassílabos ele pousa mais tremas (¨) nos semânticos joelhos da menina)
... gosta quando toco sua cedilha assim?
MENINA CURIOSA (com um esgar sintático e sádico no canto da boca):
-Ui, me vira a página! Me puxa a orelha! Me encaderrrrrrrrrna!!! (contínua)
Quero versos brancos com você!!! Quero a métrica perfeita, quero um poema enxuto quero tudo!!! (após uma pausa rodrigueana, fala desafiante e leminskiana) ...e de vez em quando um haicai num lugar publico... por gosto do perigo...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR:
O que acha de sentir de vez em quando uma rima ou outra entre versos brancos concretistas... Hm? Você também gosta de olhar, de ouvir, como eles? Ah! Como eu gosto!!!
MENINA CURIOSA (como Julieta a despedir-se de Romeu em seu quarto, ainda sob os lençóis a ouvir a cambaxirra):
-Nego a sua rima de malandro... (mas aceita a proposta concreta) renego... (estribílica) nego, neguinho! (quase pleonásmica) Renego o nego malandro... que me nega o seu amor! Oooohhhhhhhh!!! (e quase escurece)
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (hiperbólico):
-Você me deixa louco com essa sua posição surreal!!! (quase rococó) ...esse seu jeito por vezes barroco... que passa de uma linha à outra e se torna minimalista... com pequenos traços, pequenos travessões de gemidos...
MENINA CURIOSA (com as mãos e unhas no limo do muro, movendo os quadris, dourada):
-Gosto de linhas art noveau... sinuosas...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (sentindo ainda mais o cheiro do visgo dourado a escorrer pelas coxas da menina):
-Também adoro quando fazes como Danae de Klimt nesses seus instantes art noveau!
(com cabelos e mãos pretéritas)... sem falar de quando ficas de costas nos instantes magritteanos...
MENINA CURIOSA (defectiva):
-Amor, meu travessão, dar-te-ei as costas mesoclisemente pois por hoje cansei de servir aos seus caprichos...vou dormir... (Deita-se e cobre apenas seus joelhos com formigas brancas)
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (eufemísmicamente imperativo):
-Vire-se então pro lado da margem da página em branco... e escreva nela o que mais quiser... (inclina-se e lhe dá beijos reticentes sobre a testa escaldante)
MENINA CURIOSA:
-Estarei nesse mesmo parágrafo à espera de ti pela manhã...
MENINO QUE SENTA LÁ ATRÁS e/ou EL GRAN MASTURBADOR (sonolentamente subjuntivo):
Nos vemos então, linhas abaixo...
(Deita-se ao lado da menina em silêncio, cobrindo apenas os tornozelos com formigas vermelho-bordô. O gafanhoto verde-bandeira parado ao lado de seus pés... Os dois sonham sonhos... pontilhistas...)
Por João Victor, montado em um gafanhoto verde-bandeira e/ou levado por formigas brancas a subir pelas coxas de uma menina reticente... para alguém que fritou comigo os ovos desse texto... para alguém que gosta de brincar escondido no recreio...
# posted by tangerinas incendiárias @ 12:08 AM 
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meninos, muito bom. Vcs são cheios de entrelinhas, hein? Pra bom leitor, pingo é letra... ;), aka ponto e virgula e fecha parênteses.
outra coisa: gosto de tis. continuem! :)
outra coisa: gosto de tis. continuem! :)
cherinha
foi ele que começou, eu juro
foi ele, foi ele
ele veio assim cheio de folhas em branco pra cima de mim, jogando confete pro ar dizendo que eram reticencias voadoras e que o mundo é feito de metáforas que se entendem de olhos fechados
eu "peguei" o seu marido, mas a culpa é dele....vou sair com a minha amiga Gení agora...aquela que o Chico Buarque gosta sabe?
Taminha, bonitinha mas oridinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaria
foi ele que começou, eu juro
foi ele, foi ele
ele veio assim cheio de folhas em branco pra cima de mim, jogando confete pro ar dizendo que eram reticencias voadoras e que o mundo é feito de metáforas que se entendem de olhos fechados
eu "peguei" o seu marido, mas a culpa é dele....vou sair com a minha amiga Gení agora...aquela que o Chico Buarque gosta sabe?
Taminha, bonitinha mas oridinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaria
# posted by 
: 7:35 PM
: 7:35 PM
Sabia que era você... a única das saúvas vermelho bordô a subir dos meus tornozelos para morder-me as coxas...
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